“Foolish men mistake transitory semblance for eternal fact” Thomas Carlyle

i found your song !

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:47:19 GMT

Love, love, love-love-love-love 

You were everything I wanted, 
You were everything a girl could be, 
Then you left me broken hearted, 
Now you don't mean a thing to me, 
All I wanted was your love, love, love-love-love-love. 

Hate is a strong word, but I really really really dont like you, 
Now thats it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. 
Brought you around and you just brought me down 
Hate is a strong word but I really, really, really don't like you. 

I really don't like you. 

Thought that everything was perfect, 
Isn't that how it's suppose to be, 
Thought you thought that I was worth it 
Now I think a little differently, 
All I wanted was your love, love, love-love-love-love. 

Hate is a strong word but I really really really don't like you, 
(I really don't like you) 
Now thats it's over I don't even know what I liked about you, 
(Liked about you) 
Brought you around and you just brought me down, 
Hate is a strong word but I really really really don't like you. 

Now that it's over you can't hurt me, 
Now that it's over you can't bring me down. 

Oh, Oh, Oh, oh-oh-oh (x2) 

All I wanted was your love, love, love-love-love-love. 

(Hate) 

Hate is a strong word but I really really really don't like you, 
(I really don't like you) 
Now thats its over I don't even know what I liked about you, 
(Liked about you) 
Brought you around and you just brought me down, 
(Hate) 
Hate is a strong word but I really, really, really don't like you. 

Oh, Oh, Oh, oh-oh-oh (x4) 

I really don't like you (x3)

huggababy !

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 13:13:15 GMT

hi, i'm back because 2 weeks is a bitch. :(
it's 9.12pm now and i can't wait till 9.30pm comes and for time to stand still then.

tonight ( to you, don't drink too much water when you're about to sleep)

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:34:41 GMT

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you SAT AND told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...

I sing,
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

2009, 5am

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:10:42 GMT

I'VE BEEN PLAYING MAPLEEEEE. A LOT ! HAHAHAHAHAHA okay, i know that's like super duper shocking or something but yes. i'm in my study room with janan, playing maple LOL. really quite an eye-opener and cockyness booster, really. now i finally realise why gamers are such cocky asses, haven't you realised ? it's uh, pretty fun i'd say. but i guess i'll be losing interest soon, considering that's all we ever do in these 2 days, apart from meals, etc. yes yes, i heard you say Hardcore (with a capital H) hahaha.

anyways, here's hello to 2009 and byebye 2008. another year, another cycle, here we go again. 2008 has been the worst year thus far, probably in every aspect but i'm glad i'm picking up and probably everything's gonna go super smooth. need it esp in the area of studies. omg 2008, CAN DIE. it was a sad year indeed. and looking back at it now, i'd probably regret for life since it's such a crucial year yet i'm so capable of screwing it all up. but oh wells. there's only one way when you're at rock bottom right ? :) not that i'm at rock bottom now but i'm moving up and i believe the tides are bound to remain; not ready to turn just yet. so cheers to that and cheers to 2008, hello 2009, what do you have installed ?

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:57:02 GMT

if i could, i'd contain myself in an air bubble and float around in my bubble. it'd be heat-proof, water-proof, electricity-proof and what not. it'd be un-tear-able. i'll place teddy in the bubble. oh and maybe janan too. then again, nah, probably not since he'll probably get bored and feel trapped in my little transparent bubble haha.

and i know the above is a damn child-like thought but it's random so all's cool yes ? must be all that viwawa to dress my wawa whose name is momo. i wanted to change it to moomoo but i don't know how to :(. when i had 1400 wawagold, i bought a ginger bread man that's worth 700+ and thus, no clothes for wawa. and when i had 1600+ wawagold, i bought hair and hairband for wawa. wawa still has no clothes. i just keep forgetting that wawa need to be covered haha, so ugly.

anyway, quite a bit happened when this journal was dead and i figured out that there's no point changing, back to past or changing for the future. what will happen WILL happen and what's more important is how we learn to accept it and probably change from there ? apart from that, stagnant's the word for me. i feel that it's more important that we learn not to feel, not to expect too much and ha, consider the worst state. yes, so very pessimistic but so very true. i know this pessimism will go by but i just thought i'd like to pen down my thoughts. so yes, there you got it, the journal's revived......... or maybe not ?

haha either way, happy christmas and merry new year to one and all, till then. ;)

I'M BACK HELLO.

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:44:12 GMT

i'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. and yes, sydney was good and could have been better but let's not go there ! haha.

anyhows, i think i've caught on the laziness disease. i'm even lazy to talk, not to mention party ! i'm lazy to hang out even ! i want a change in this boring routine of waking up and party / eat / hang out and sleeping. i wanna get a job that can give me a skill or two and help in an orphanage. of which, i cannot wait for both to start. not that i've found them. and and jinwen and i are planning to go to church.

i need a more purposeful lifestyle than what i have now man. really.

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST CHARMANT !! (as it says in my phone book haha) love you long time though we've fell out twice over the same silliest of matters incident. i'm glad we're still tight. thanks for always trying to be there and for being a true friend. i miss you soooo much alright. have a blast today and i'm sure i'll see you soon ! :)

sydney

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 09:38:51 GMT

hellooooooooo there ! :D sending love from sydney yo ! :D all has been great, esp the dancing parts, so yays ! :D did ballet and lyrical today and omg we're all dead beat. people here aren't exactly the friendliest but there are warm people as well so i guess it's all cool haha. shopping's not bad thus far but we were banned from shopping today due to the inattentiveness of most of us at dance earlier in the day.

doubt lilian, fel and i are supposed to be on the com now but we are haha. fel did her reflections for meeting at 9 and lilian copied hers -_- haven't done mine and 9pm is in 20 mins........

eh what ever. imma stop journalling cause someone's online ! :D byebye love you all ! hello mom, i love you ! :D

HELP !

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 19:03:55 GMT

sydney in less than 19 hour's time and i haven't packed ! urgh. there's so much to do later in the day and it's gonna be a scary trip ahead, wish me luck with my fingers crossed !

/edit : omg have to reach the airport at 9pm and dinner with mom there at 6pm. it's 3.45pm now and i haven't started packinggggggg. omg imma go nap first. see ya'll when i'm back ! it's gonna be a fast one :) psssss verillyn/ bev, party when i get there ! :D:D:D

shortie

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:07:41 GMT

so mabel and janan are over now and they just went out of the house for a pufffffffff. hmm, the past few days have been quite good and super bad and i'm hoping that the bad moments will come to an end. prom's in a day's time, mambo with the r gang in 2 days' time and and sydney's in 4 days' time. ahhhhhhhhhh frrrrrrrrrriggggggginggggg scared. a's fucked up, period. seriously. urgh. but i believe that as much as all good things come to an end, all bad things do just likewise. imma crossing my fingers and hoping for the best ! for now, it's time out, leave the photos for another day aight ! :)

"Don't be afraid, just Believe ! "

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 12:35:11 GMT

jeremiah 29:11 jeremiah 29:11 jeremiah 29:11 jeremiah 29:11 jeremiah 29:11

lit and physics tomorrow and i have yet to touch physics.

jeremiah 29:11 jeremiah 29:11 jeremiah 29:11

i think a confident mind is very essential for exams. but since i have to have confidence over papers that i'm not confident at, jeremiah 29:11. uhhhhhh huhhhhhhh, uh huh.

/edit : alright. okay. so, time check, 12.21am. have yet to touch physics. imma go to bed by 1am. i need a miracle.

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:38:28 GMT

sometimes i wonder if we have never let go in what we believe in, will things be different ? will the effects be different ? have you any regrets ?

a hope to prove myself, dashed.

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:21:49 GMT

horrible horrible papers thus far. gp paper 1: an hour into the essay question, i switched question so left 30 mins to write an essay omg. damn badly done. gp paper 2: i friggggggggginggggg sleeeeeeepttttttttttttt. dammit. can't believe i slept for a'levels ! not a good thing at all. just one line for summary. urgh. that. bad.

math paper 1: many many blanks. realised i know how to do a 5 marks question when the person collected my script. like, just when the paper was handed to him and still in my hands. wanted to take it back to write but he said 'no' and took it. damn. and totally asked my tutor about the interest rate question yesterday but he dismissed the idea of me learning it, saying that it wouldn't come out. damnnnnedddddd. no one to blame but myself i guess. probably have to retake a's or something. urgh. that bad, yes, that bad. :(

tonight was fun nonetheless, with jinwen, jesse and the rest. photobooth madness and all. but totally didn't study. i need to get my ass to mugging but i'm tireddddddd. tomorrow it is ? tomorrow it is. night and lucks, you all ! :)

yesterday

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:45:02 GMT

yesterday was ultra mega productive day with chermin, tuition and huijia. haha rocks awesome, we should do this more often ! got quite a number of things done but think we can push it further and make it even more productiveeeeeeeee. study study study. we should have started this way back. this is true studying man. haha. i like. 1 more week to go. jitterssssssssssssss. fingers crossed, i'm out.

china frenzyyyyy.

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 07:43:11 GMT

gwen's too cute. here's the content in her journal.

"Karen sent me this email about China recycling USED CONDOMS to make it into rubberbands for us girls to tie our hair. It's so gross! I told mom and she said she knew of it but didn't see a need to tell me because she assumed my rubberbands are all branded ones and that I don't buy China-made rubberbands because it's too cheapskate for me-.- I could have flipped on the spot... I really do not know the origins of my rubberbands man"

love you gwen ! :D cheer up please

grad day

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 06:30:28 GMT

i absolutely cannot believe that i missed grad day. thanks to the laziness and tiredness in me. should not have laid on my bed. :( can't believe i actually missed grad day. and jason texted "thanks for missing grad day" and cherr called and when she found out i wasn't in school, "how can you miss grad day". etc etc etc from the rest. ahhhhhh. not making it any better ! even jingxin was there :(:(:( i'm so disappointed in myself. :( i should have fought against sleep. i'm sorry guys ! :(

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:26:15 GMT

i need an exploooooooooosioooooooonnnnnnnnn, for the good or for the bad hahahaha. i don't know what that means, i just feel like saying that.

in other words, follow your heart ?

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 03:23:09 GMT

should every impulse of the heart be guided by reason, should exertion always be in proportion to what is required ?

new love

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:05:25 GMT

i'm currently hooked on sudoku and i've been playing it for hours everyday recently. i'm such a nerd, i know ! hahahaha. andihearyousay whoaaaaaaa, best record 7min 8secs. whoaaaa whoaaaa whoaaaaaaaaa hahahaha okay, i know i'm a TAD BIT laggish in catching the sudoku bug (understatement) but hahaha ! loving it and all already ! it just makes me wanna solve those yummylicious intriguing mind-eating puzzles. punch my fists in the air when i get 'em right and BAM, throw my phone when i can't. perfectionist all, whoa whoa whoaaaaaa. hahahahaha OKAY FINE, truth is, i'll just click 'Exit' and start on a new puzzle. and when no one's looking, i'll keep switching when i get stuck heeheehee. -winks- (yea, winking like that smiley on top hahahaha) genius. kthnksbye !

lost lost lost, hello, are you my light ?

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:35:09 GMT

why.

yea okay

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:11:38 GMT

siglap-ed with charm and leanne after. bumped into ryan and zann. got the scare of my life when i thought we bumped into D. study's not too well. having a bad headache and it makes me wanna cry :( bad headache bad thoughts. must the lack of sleep from last night. was on the line with cherm and siangkoon till 1ish and talked to barn till like 3+ before i slept on him ? sorry ! mm, did the stupidest thing ever today that made me feel so awkward almost the entire day. and now i'm feeling a tad bit upset about it. was thinking of calling dickson and ask about his vietnam trip but totally dialled mark's number. omg and this actually isn't the first time. but the past few errors were halted in time before the phone even rang. probably it was because i called when i just got up ? so i didn't really bother about thinking about the number i dialled. afterall, i could remember both their numbers. mm so i heard this funny ringtone and was in the "LOL" mood then when i heard a "hello" i went "WTF WAS THAT" and found out it was mark's number that i dialled. omg. siao. AWKWARD TO THE MAXIMUM PLEASE. totally felt the heat. omgomgomg. so anyway, starting on econs tuition at bishan tmr, bombshelter, i heard hahaha. and meeting janan after ! long day long day long day. tension headache yo. besties besties besties babies jo and lav, get well soon please you two ! :):):) and i hate this everyday posts that i'm doing omg. imma stop and off i am ! :)

fly you to my favourite star

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:37:44 GMT

day 2 omgomgomg totally couldn't get up for school despite gwen's call. :(:(:( swear i wanted to go, even did my trade essays. today hasn't been productive but 2 more chapters to complete FOC yay yay yay ! :D haven't finish reading it before but still....... at least there's progress right ? haha omg 50+ chapts for p&p which i haven't started :(:(:( gotta go meet my favourite SA girl now ! omg please don't kill me when you see this cause you're there already ! love you joanne chen jianann ! hahaha ! and barnabas ! go arrange with charm and tess about supper tonight and let me know k ! i'm too lazy to sign into msn again hahaha. byebyebye ! :D

first day in school after a long while

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:23:40 GMT

i'm gonna mark my progress so here goes :

day one of true studying- going strong. love it that i'm mugging but hate it that i totally slacked at the cafe with chermin when i was supposed to go for econs US programme lecture. heard it was good, quite the opposite of what cherm and fel said. probably i should have went. sigh, but there's no room for regrets. i need to make up for all the lost time. power up ! i need to keep up the pace and push push push ! :D trade essays for lecture, here i come ! :D

work pile

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 12:04:33 GMT

out of the past 2 weeks, i've only been to school for 3 days and it's not even study break or holidays. i feel so lost cause i wanna go to school tmr and omg there's so much work to prepare. thanks alford, for helping me catch up and know what to look out for tmr. :)

silly thought at a wrong time

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 06:39:55 GMT

if 'love' can be condensed into words, is it still love ?
i say, the most magnificent thing about love is that it's inexplicable.
its dangers and benefits unknown.

you never know when you'll get hurt
but it give rise to hopes as well. you never know when you'll reap its fruit.

the splendor of it all ? love provides new opportunity and accepts mistakes.
it's like an empty booklet, ready for you to write your life's story.
it's all-accepting. right move, wrong steps, it's all-accepting.

'love' lives up the paradox of following your heart, to decide that a wrong person is right.
.
.
.
.
scratch that. expunge all of that.

what exactly is love ?
it's inexplicable.

Mother Teresa

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 12:04:38 GMT

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.
If we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people to not kill each other? Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. This is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.
National Prayer Breakfast Speech Against Abortion (1994)
I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience?